


My Soul

by Hippua



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Poems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:52:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16746961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hippua/pseuds/Hippua
Summary: A collection of poems that I have written.





	1. Palaces

A palace

Created from your wicked distorted desires 

Lust a large castle run by a foolish king

Envy a museum covered in gold and past pupils 

Greed a bank run by a bug

Sloth a pyramid filled with false memories

Gloutney taking off into space

Pride gambling knowing they will win

Wrath looking down at others as mice  
Wrath the one who started it all


	2. Break Up

I love you  
My heart goes crazy around you  
My time with you was  
Fun  
Bright  
Joyus   
Amazing  
Our time together will always have a special place in my heart  
But our chapter has to end


	3. Hallow Bones

This is not me  
Where are my eyes?  
I can not see   
The mirror shows me baby blue eyes  
They are not mine

My once bitten nails surrounded by scars   
Now perfectly shaped no scars in sight  
The freckle on my thumb has now moved to my left  
Something is wrong   
They are not mine

My scarred arms are now priestien  
No more stories litter my skin  
My story has been ripped from me  
The impressive muscle I once built is gone  
I fear I won’t be able to lift a book  
They are not mine

My legs once a battlefield of scars  
Erased   
These legs are not mine to walk with  
They belong to someone else  
Memories of falls and bruises escape my mind never to be seen again  
They are not mine

My cracked lips now full and untouched  
Unable to bite away the skin to taste my blood  
I bite harder   
They are not mine

My feet once the large  
Covered in calluses from walking barefoot   
Is gone  
Now they are small and can hardly hold me up  
They are not mine

My teeth were never perfect   
But they were never bad  
I can no longer smile   
I will not with someone else's teeth  
They are not mine

My hollow bones  
Let me fly  
If only for second  
They are not mine

I grab my body  
Pain shooting through   
Black ink drips from my eyes, from my heart, from my pain  
At least I know I'm still human


	4. Magical PTSD

Again and again, my gun to her head  
Again and again, my gun to her head  
Again and again, I fail her  
Again and again, I love her  
Again and again, I see her  
Again and again, I watch her die  
Again and again, you get farther away  
Again and again, you’ll die  
Again and again, you are an angel while I am a devil  
Again and again, my gun to her head  
Again and again, my gun to her head  
Again and again, braids to bows  
Again and again, this can not end  
Again and again, I start over


	5. VOID

Yelling, Yelling, Yelling

I want to be heard I want to be heard

I tell you everything

But your ear are stuffed with beautiful flowers 

Will you ever hear me

Or will I continue to yell

Will you ever hear me

Or will I be left alone

Will you hear me

Or will it be too late

This is how i feel

Most of the time

This is what escaped today

Answer me please

Or am i just yelling into a void that will never respond?

Some times i feel like no matter how much i yell no one hears me

But when they do they are annoyed with

Me

Either because they already heard me, but didnt respond

Or because they are doing other things

I think being an only child has made me selfish

I do love being the center of attention

Even if its for bad things

Even if my own parents call me a dropout

I do it so they notice me

I want to be seen

I want to be heard

But at the same time i want to be alone

I dont want anyone to care about me

I dont want people to worry about me

Im fine

It will all be okay in the end

In a few years this will all be done

In a few years no one from here will clearly remember me

Thats fine

Thats good 

I want to be forgotten

I dont want people to know me

But

At the same time i want to be the center of attention

I want to be loved

Not only when im depressed

On my last shred of hope

I dont want to be known as that depressed friend

Do people really care about me

Or am i just there so im good enough

Will i ever be able to think i am good

I am worth it

I dont think so 

People deserve better then me

I dont do what i promise i will do

I have no more will to do things for others

I dont want to go to school anymore

Friends are the only people who make it worth it

Friends pull me through the day

Its you guys who keep me from falling away

I know i should stop because im getting annoying

And im only yelling at a void

But i dont want to stop

My phone is dangerously low

But i wont stop

The void likes this

The void likes be fed

The more i feed it

The more it becomes my friend

Please answer me


	6. Ten-Thousand Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This poem is based on the Song call Ten-Thousand Starts

Put on a mask and don a false identity  
I'm broken down into my core  
One by one it's over  
This silence can't get louder  
Let me fell panic, panic, panic again  
I'll finally see ten-thousand others just like me  
With tears seeping through the laughs  
Blood dripping guts are spilling  
Make it a secret  
Think you can keep it  
I'm not okay and I'll never be the same


	7. Lonely Night High

He's in the corner   
Waving his limbs around

She's in the middle  
Eating fries and moaning

She's in the corner  
Asleep and out of this world

She's next to them  
Being reminded of past trauma

He's walking around  
The only one able to serve

He's next to me  
Claiming he's sober

I am standing here  
Writing

And the cats are more sober


	8. Dear...

I know you're not deaf,  
But my request has fallen on deaf ears,  
I know you're not here,  
But I still feel your threat,  
I know you're intent,  
But I won't fall for it,  
I know you won't stop,  
But neither will I


	9. Lie

Smoke escapes my lips again  
Regretting opening my mouth  
I can not take back the smoke  
Its smell clings to my clothes, to my skin  
Tearing the smoke away is tearing away my breath  
It has become a part of me  
It is my shield, no sword to fight back


	10. Hanahaki

My love for you is killing me  
The thorns in my veins make it hard to move  
The petals in my lungs make it hard to breath  
The leaves in my heart make it pound  
The roots in my belly make me sick  
None of this would happen if only you loved me the way I love you


	11. Anxiety

heart beats  
feet are numb  
eyes out of focus  
unstable hands  
gut hurts  
shivers throughout  
old scars pain to reopen  
black is closing in  
watching myself from another body  
watch in disgust of myself


	12. Death Parade ending card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on this image: https://78.media.tumblr.com/4bc7083c4858c601c22887d24579f58d/tumblr_njtmqozQLH1si3p6ko1_400.jpg

Put together of broken pieces  
I stair looking up, unable to move my neck  
I have been laying here so long that my cracks begin to show

The man to my right is new here  
He wants to run  
He wants to scream  
His legs are nowhere to be seen  
His hallow body refuses to move  
His tears cannot fall from his glass eyes  
He is like the rest of us sinners laying here in hell

The woman to my left never moves  
Her body is just out of arms reach  
Her face shows no cracks  
No chipping paint  
She stays so still I wonder if she's alive  
Her porcelain hand touches my neck  
Caresses my cheek  
I fear she will wake up

Laying on top of other I fear my death again  
The man on the right is nowhere in sight  
I watch as new sinners pile on top

I don't want to drown again  
Not in the light  
Not in the deep  
Where are my feet


End file.
